Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Be who you already are.

I had run out of hope.

It’s still here.

Simple insulin resistance test may also predict cognitive decline in Alzheimer's patients - Medical Xpress

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Why do Puerto Ricans come to this country flying their flags over in the United States all over their cars? They're so proud of their country. Why are they here?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

The sadness was still there.

Mario Kart World 150cc Knockout Tour guide – how to easily win - Nintendo Everything

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Ireland added to list of countries monitored by the U.S. for currency manipulation - Fortune

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Iron is naturally present in these 10 foods - Times of India

And the sadness?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Pediatric flu deaths surge in Michigan: 'These are children' - The Detroit News

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

You are like me, then.

Vero beatae repudiandae excepturi hic quia tenetur.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

I was tired of fighting.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

US tycoon pours $100mn into Trump crypto project after SEC reprieve - Financial Times

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

The people who are 'allergic' to humans - BBC

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.